Hey beautiful humans,
So I need to be honest with you about something. Last week I shared this whole “ultimate guide to rebranding yourself” thing, and honestly? Reading it back made me cringe a little. It sounded like I had my shit completely together, which… nervous laugh …is definitely not the case.
Don’t get me wrong – transformation is absolutely possible. I’m living proof of that. But let me tell you what “reinventing yourself” actually looks like when you’re a real person with real problems and a mortgage.
What They Don’t Tell You About “Becoming Your Best Self”
First off, your “dream self” probably still has anxiety. Mine does. She just has better coping mechanisms and doesn’t spiral for three hours because someone didn’t text her back.
That “morning routine” everyone talks about? Mine changes weekly. Sometimes it’s meditation and journaling. Sometimes it’s chugging coffee while googling “is it normal to feel this anxious about Tuesday” in my pajamas. Both versions of me are valid.
The Real Steps to Changing Your Life
1. Start Where You Actually Are (Not Where You Think You Should Be)
I used to lie to myself about my starting point. “I’m just going through a rough patch,” I’d say, while crying in Target parking lots became my daily hobby.
Try this instead: Write down three true things about where you are right now. Not where you were last year, not where you’ll be next year. Right now. Mine today are:
- I’m anxious about money even though we’re fine
- I ate cereal for dinner last night and called it “intuitive eating”
- I love my life AND it’s messier than my Instagram suggests
2. Pick One Tiny Thing That Actually Matters
Forget the vision boards and 47-step transformation plans. What’s one small thing that would make tomorrow slightly better?
For me this month, it’s putting my phone in another room when I sleep. That’s it. Not a whole digital detox, not deleting social media, just… moving the damn phone.
Some of my clients’ “tiny things”:
- Making the bed (even if nothing else gets done)
- Drinking water before coffee
- Saying “I need to think about it” instead of automatically saying yes
3. Expect the Backslide (And Plan for It)
Here’s what no one tells you: You’ll probably “fail” at your new habits within two weeks. I put fail in quotes because it’s not actually failing – it’s being human.
I’ve started my “morning routine” approximately 847 times. The difference now is I don’t start over from scratch each time. I just pick up where I left off without the shame spiral.
What “Rebranding” Actually Looks Like
It’s not a dramatic makeover montage. It’s more like:
- Slowly replacing “I’m such a mess” with “I’m figuring it out”
- Learning to say “that doesn’t work for me” without a 10-minute explanation
- Wearing clothes that fit your actual body, not the body you think you should have
- Following people online who make you feel inspired, not inadequate
The Part Where I Get Real About Energy and Vibes
Yes, your energy matters. Yes, people can feel your vibe. But you know what’s more magnetic than pretending to have your life together? Being genuinely yourself.
The most attractive thing about anyone is their willingness to be real. To admit when they’re struggling. To laugh at their own mess-ups. To show up anyway, even when they don’t feel ready.
My Actual Advice
- Stop waiting for January 1st, Monday, or “when things calm down.” They won’t. Start messy, start scared, start anyway.
- Get therapy if you can afford it. And if you can’t, try the library – they have more self-help books than my house (which is saying something).
- Find your people. The ones who let you be human. Who don’t expect you to have profound insights about every little thing.
- Remember that self-improvement is not self-fixing. You’re not broken. You’re just growing.
The Truth About Transformation
Real change happens in the quiet moments. When you choose to be kind to yourself after a mistake. When you ask for help instead of suffering alone. When you decide that you’re worth the effort, even on the days when you don’t feel like it.
You don’t need to rebrand yourself. You just need to remember who you actually are underneath all the expectations and comparisons and should-haves.
That person? She’s pretty amazing, actually.
Love you, mean it, Selene
P.S. – If you’re going through it right now, I see you. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to take up space. It’s okay to need more time. You’re not behind in life, you’re exactly where you need to be.
Quick Check-In: How Are You Really Doing?
Posted by Selene at 2:33 PM (procrastinating on laundry)
Hey loves,
Sometimes I post these long, thoughtful pieces about growth and healing, and then I realize… maybe you just need someone to ask how you’re actually doing.
So how are you? Really?
Not the “fine, busy, can’t complain” version you give everyone else. The real version.
Are you:
- Tired in a way that sleep doesn’t fix?
- Excited about something but scared to admit it?
- Feeling behind everyone else your age?
- Proud of something small that might seem silly?
- Just trying to make it through today?
All of those are completely valid, by the way.
I’m over here feeling anxious about literally nothing while also being grateful for my life, which is apparently the human experience in a nutshell.
Today’s reminder: You don’t have to earn your worth. You don’t have to be productive to matter. You don’t have to have it figured out by now.
You just have to be you. And you’re doing better than you think.
Drop a heart if you needed to hear this today. 💗
Things I Wish I’d Known at 25 (A Slightly Chaotic List)
Posted by Selene at 9:15 PM (having deep thoughts during my skincare routine)
Okay, so I’m 35 now and sometimes I catch glimpses of my 25-year-old self in old photos and I just want to hug her and tell her SO MANY THINGS.
So here’s what I’d tell her (and what I’m telling you if you need to hear it):
About Success:
- Your worth isn’t measured by your productivity
- “Having your life together” is a myth – we’re all just figuring it out
- It’s okay to change your mind about what you want
- Comparison is the joy-killer, seriously stop it
About Relationships:
- People-pleasing isn’t loving, it’s exhausting
- You can’t heal someone else’s trauma with your kindness
- “No” is a complete sentence
- The right people will love your weird
About Money:
- You don’t have to live like you’re broke when you’re not
- But also, you don’t have to spend money to prove you’re successful
- Financial anxiety is real and therapy helps with this too
About Your Body:
- It’s not your enemy, even when it feels like it
- Those jeans that don’t fit? Donate them. You deserve clothes that fit your actual body
- Moving your body should feel good, not like punishment
About Career:
- You can be good at something and still not want to do it forever
- Work-life balance is not about perfect scheduling, it’s about boundaries
- Your job doesn’t define you (even if LinkedIn disagrees)
About Mental Health:
- Anxiety lies to you. Don’t believe everything you think
- Therapy isn’t just for “when things get bad” – it’s maintenance
- Medication isn’t giving up, it’s getting help
- Your feelings are information, not instructions
About Dreams:
- Start before you’re ready
- “Someday” isn’t a day of the week
- Your dreams are allowed to change
- You don’t need anyone’s permission to want what you want
The Big One: You’re not behind. You’re not too late. You’re not too much or not enough. You’re exactly where you need to be, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
25-year-old me needed to hear that. Maybe you do too.
What would you tell your younger self? (Besides “buy Bitcoin” because we all know that one 😅)
Love you, mean it, Selene
P.S. – If you’re 25 reading this, I promise it gets easier. Not because life gets less complicated, but because you get better at handling the complications.
