By Selene Hart
I want to start this with a confession: I used to think feminine energy was bullshit.
Like… what even is that? Some Pinterest board with rose quartz and moon rituals? A soft filter over a life that doesn’t feel soft at all?
If you’d told me three years ago that reconnecting to my feminine energy would be part of my healing, I would’ve laughed in your face. Or cried. Probably cried. I cried a lot back then.
Because back then, I was running on stress, caffeine, and whatever crumbs of validation I could scrape together from doing All The Things. I was the responsible one. The achiever. The fixer. The emotional airbag in every relationship.
I was also quietly falling apart.
The Breaking Point Wasn’t Dramatic, Just… Sad
I didn’t have some huge, cinematic breakdown. There was no dramatic quitting scene or glass-shattering moment of realization. It was smaller than that. Quieter.
It was the morning I realized I couldn’t remember the last time I laughed—like really laughed, from my belly, not just a polite chuckle.
It was how I flinched when my husband touched my shoulder, because my body had forgotten what safe softness felt like.
It was crying while folding laundry and whispering, “I can’t do this anymore,” not because of the laundry, but because everything felt heavy.
That’s the thing about burnout—it doesn’t always scream. Sometimes it just… steals your joy, one quiet day at a time.
So, What Is Feminine Energy—Really?
Let me get this out of the way: I’m not here to sell you crystals (unless you’re into that, in which case—go off, queen). Feminine energy isn’t about aesthetics. It’s not about wearing more pink or learning to pole dance (though, again, power to you if you do).
Feminine energy, to me, is a return.
It’s a coming home to yourself. To the version of you that’s tired of pushing. Who’s done proving. Who just wants to feel safe inside her own body again.
It’s choosing softness in a world that keeps telling you to harden up.
It’s sitting still when everything in you wants to fix, please, achieve.
It’s letting your body lead. Letting your heart speak. Letting your tears come.
It’s messy. Raw. Beautiful.
And, full disclosure? It’s really freaking hard—especially when you’ve been in survival mode for a long time.
Why Feminine Energy Felt Like a Threat at First
I didn’t want to be soft. I didn’t trust softness. Softness meant vulnerability. And vulnerability had burned me before.
When you’ve been the strong one for too long, rest feels scary. Saying “no” feels selfish. Being held feels unfamiliar.
And when you’ve been surviving on masculine energy—go, do, achieve, perform—feminine energy can feel like weakness. Like failure. Like giving up.
But here’s what I’ve learned: it’s the opposite.
Feminine energy isn’t about doing less. It’s about being more.
More in tune. More grounded. More open. More yourself.
And that’s the bravest thing I’ve ever tried.
How I (Very Imperfectly) Started to Heal
Let me be very clear: I didn’t wake up one day and become some ethereal, goddess-like creature who wakes up at sunrise and does cacao ceremonies. I still sleep through alarms. I still rage-eat cookies. I still forget to text people back.
But I have started honoring myself more. Listening more. Trusting more.
Here’s what that looks like for me right now:
1. Doing Nothing—and Not Apologizing for It
I used to feel physically uncomfortable doing nothing. Like I needed to earn rest. Now, I sit on the porch with tea and stare at the trees. No podcast. No productivity. Just being.
2. Letting Myself Cry Without Explaining Why
I don’t need to have a reason. Sometimes it’s hormones. Sometimes it’s a commercial with a dog in it. Sometimes it’s grief that has no words. The release matters more than the explanation.
3. Trusting My Body’s No
If something doesn’t feel good anymore—whether it’s a friendship, a commitment, or a pair of jeans—I let it go. My body knows before my brain does.
4. Connecting With My Cycle
This one was hard. I used to ignore my period unless it was inconvenient. Now I track it, honor it, and let myself ebb and flow with it. I don’t force energy that isn’t there.
5. Creating for Me, Not Just for Likes
This one’s personal. As a writer and creator, it’s easy to lose myself in performance. Feminine energy helps me write from my heart instead of my ego.
The Lie of “Balance” and the Truth of Rhythm
Everyone talks about balance. Like there’s some perfect equation of work and rest, hustle and flow, coffee and green juice.
But I’ve stopped chasing balance.
Now, I follow rhythm.
Some weeks I’m on fire—writing, cooking, organizing everything in sight.
Other weeks, I’m just… surviving. Sitting on the floor. Letting the dishes pile up. Saying, “This is enough for today.”
Both are valid. Both are part of the cycle. Feminine energy honors all of it.
What If You’ve Forgotten How to Be Soft?
If you’re like me—and maybe you are—you’ve spent years building walls. Toughening up. Proving your worth by being useful, smart, responsible, together.
And maybe those walls helped you survive. But now… they might be keeping you from feeling alive.
So here’s your permission slip, written in the messiest handwriting, with smudged mascara and probably a coffee ring on the corner:
You’re allowed to slow down.
You’re allowed to soften.
You’re allowed to need.
You’re allowed to feel.
You’re allowed to fall apart.
You’re allowed to come back to yourself.
And no—you’re not doing it wrong just because it doesn’t look cute or Instagram-worthy. The real work is never aesthetic. It’s internal. It’s sacred. It’s yours.
In Case No One Has Told You Lately…
You are not too much.
You are not lazy.
You are not behind.
You are not broken.
You’re just tired.
And maybe… ready for a different way.
The feminine energy you’re craving? It’s already in you. It never left.
It just got buried under years of performing, proving, pleasing.
You don’t have to earn your way back to her.
You just have to remember.
