How I Created a Life I Love After Burnout

By Selene Hart

I used to think burnout was just about being tired. Like, maybe I just needed a long nap, a girls’ trip, or one of those “treat yourself” spa days Instagram kept trying to sell me.

But what I didn’t realize is that burnout isn’t just exhaustion. It’s emptiness. It’s crying in the Target parking lot because you forgot to buy toilet paper and it feels like the final straw. It’s waking up with a tight chest and the instant dread of another day you don’t want to live through—not dramatically, just truthfully.

It took me longer than I’d like to admit to realize I was burnt out—not lazy, not broken, not weak. Burnt. Out.

And the life I have now? It wasn’t built overnight. It wasn’t built with crystals or vision boards alone (although I do love a good manifestation candle). It was built with a thousand tiny choices to choose myself—over and over—even when I didn’t feel “worthy” or “ready.”

Here’s how I started to create a life I love… even while I was still kind of falling apart.

✦ I Stopped Trying to Fix Myself

I was a fixer. Therapy, coaching, courses, all the podcasts—if it promised to make me more productive, healed, or confident, I signed up. I had a stack of self-help books taller than me and a list of affirmations I recited like a robot.

But the turning point came when I asked myself: What if I’m not broken?

What if I’m not a project to complete, but a human to care for?

I still love growth, but I stopped making it a punishment. I no longer journal to “fix my mindset” but to witness my own heart. I meditate not to be more spiritual but to sit with myself in stillness, even if my thoughts wander the whole time.

Healing got a lot easier once I stopped treating myself like a problem.

✦ I Redefined “Success”

I used to think success looked like a six-figure job, a perfect morning routine, and being one of those women who somehow wears white linen without spilling anything on it.

But my real success today?

• Waking up without dread.
• Texting my husband “I’m spiraling” and knowing he’ll just sit with me.
• Writing blog posts in sweatpants with a heating pad on my stomach.
• Saying no without explaining myself.

I had to let go of someone else’s definition of success to find mine. And spoiler: it’s not aesthetic Pinterest boards (though those are fun), it’s peace. It’s alignment. It’s breathing and knowing I’m safe.

✦ I Let Myself Be Bad at Things

Confession: I’m still bad at consistency. My morning routine is more like a “morning idea.” I skip workouts. I sometimes scroll too long and forget to drink water. I buy the planner and forget to use it.

But for once, I don’t make it mean I’m failing.

One of the hardest lessons for perfectionists is letting yourself start ugly. I told myself I’d launch a blog once I had it all together—perfect brand voice, daily routine, Instagram strategy. LOL.

Instead, I launched it while having anxiety attacks and eating cereal for dinner. That’s when everything shifted. Not when I was ready, but when I gave myself permission to be real.

✦ I Made Room for Small Joys (Even During the Hard Parts)

Not every day is a “good vibes only” day. I still have off weeks. But I started to notice the micro-moments that felt like proof life could be good again:

• Fresh coffee in my favorite mug
• My dog’s little tail wiggle when I come home
• The quiet joy of canceling plans I didn’t want to go to anyway

Tiny joys kept me going when I didn’t have big wins. They reminded me that I don’t need to wait for the perfect moment to feel okay. I can feel okay now, even if I’m still a little messy.

✦ I Started Talking Back to My Inner Mean Girl

You know the voice. The one that says, “You’re lazy. You’ll never get your life together. You’re so behind.”

She used to run the show. But now? I talk back.

Sometimes I whisper, “Not helpful, Brenda.” (Yes, I named her.) Sometimes I say, “Hey, I know you’re trying to keep me safe, but I’ve got this now.” Sometimes I just say, “Shut up, I’m doing my best.”

This voice doesn’t go away—but I don’t take her so seriously anymore. I learned I could still move forward even with her muttering in the background.

✦ I Let Myself Be Supported (Even When It Felt Uncomfortable)

I used to pride myself on being low-maintenance. The cool girl. The “I got this” friend.

But I didn’t have it. Not really. I was drowning and smiling at the same time.

Learning to say “I need help” was terrifying. But it saved me. I leaned on therapy, coaching, my husband, and yes, internet strangers who reminded me I wasn’t alone.

Asking for help didn’t make me weak—it made me whole.

✦ I Started Creating, Even Before I Felt “Qualified”

I didn’t wait until I was “healed” to share my voice. (If I did, you’d never be reading this.)

I started sharing while still deep in the messy middle. And that’s what people connected with. Not perfection. Not expertise. Just truth.

You don’t need to be a guru to share your story. You don’t need to be the poster child of mental wellness to help someone else feel seen. Sometimes, the most healing thing you can do is say: “Me too. I’ve been there.”

✦ I Accepted That Burnout Changes You

Burnout stripped me down. I lost my career identity, my confidence, my shiny LinkedIn-worthy version of myself.

But what I found underneath?

A woman who is softer but stronger. A woman who listens more, pushes less. A woman who still has bad days but knows how to hold herself through them.

Burnout broke something in me, yes. But it also broke open something. A deeper truth. A quieter life. A gentler ambition.

And honestly? I wouldn’t trade this version of me for the one I used to hustle so hard to be.

✦ If You’re in It Right Now…

If you’re in the thick of it, I’m not going to tell you to just “take a bubble bath” or “be positive.” I know how hollow that sounds when your nervous system is fried and you feel like a ghost in your own life.

What I will say is this:

• You’re not crazy.
• You’re not lazy.
• You’re not alone.

Burnout is not the end of you. It might actually be the beginning.

Give yourself permission to slow down. To disappoint people. To rest. To ask for help. To not know what comes next.

You don’t have to rebuild your life overnight. Just start with the next right thing. Then the next. Then the next.

And someday soon, you’ll look up and realize: you didn’t just survive.

You created a life you actually want to live.

Even if you still stress-eat ice cream on occasion (I see you).

With love and softness,
Selene 🤍