By Selene Hart
Let’s just be real for a second.
For a long time, I didn’t feel feminine at all. I wasn’t even sure what that meant, to be honest.
I was always busy. I was always “fine.” I was always doing the most—checking off to-do lists, replying to texts like a robot, squeezing workouts in between meetings and dinner. Everything I did was from a place of effort.
And somewhere in all that proving and producing, I lost that soft, beautiful, intuitive part of me.
The part that used to move slower. That used to feel her feelings fully. That used to wear perfume just for herself and sway in the kitchen to sad love songs.
That part of me—the feminine part—went quiet. And honestly, I missed her.
This post isn’t about rules. It’s not about how to look feminine. It’s not about frilly dresses or how to be more “attractive” or Pinterest-perfect.
This is about how to feel feminine again. In your body. In your soul. In your everyday life.
And it’s especially for you if you’re tired of always being the strong one.
1. Slow Down (Even When It Feels Uncomfortable)
Let’s start here, because this was the hardest one for me.
Slowing down made me anxious at first. Resting made me feel guilty. I was addicted to busyness—not because I loved it, but because it distracted me from having to feel.
But here’s the truth no one told me: feminine energy doesn’t rush.
It moves in spirals. It flows. It lingers.
Now, I practice slowing down in tiny ways:
- Sitting with my coffee instead of drinking it while checking emails.
- Walking instead of rushing.
- Leaving space between tasks, instead of filling every moment.
You don’t have to become a zen goddess overnight. Just start by giving yourself permission to stop sprinting through life like it’s a checklist.
2. Connect Back to Your Body
Your feminine self lives in your body—not in your head.
And yet most of us spend the whole day disconnected. We’re thinking, planning, fixing, controlling.
When’s the last time you asked your body what she needed?
Some days, my body wants a walk in the sun. Other days, it wants to lie in bed with a heating pad and not be touched. Sometimes it wants chocolate and sometimes it wants greens. The point is, I started listening instead of forcing.
Try this:
- Take a slow shower without rushing.
- Put lotion on like you actually want to feel it.
- Dance for one song with your eyes closed.
Feminine energy is sensual, not sexual. It’s about being in your senses. Let your body lead again.
3. Feel Your Damn Feelings
Feminine energy is emotional. And that’s not a weakness—it’s your superpower.
But we’ve been trained to numb out, bottle up, hold it together, and stay “cool.”
Listen, I used to judge myself for crying at dog food commercials. I thought feeling deeply made me irrational. But suppressing those feelings just made me angry, numb, and resentful.
Now? I let myself sob when I need to. I let myself be tender. I cry when I journal. I cry during voice notes to friends. (They love me anyway.)
You don’t have to fix every emotion. Just let yourself feel it.
That’s feminine power: being real, not polished.
4. Do Things That Have No Purpose (Other Than Joy)
This one’s a love letter to every woman who thinks everything has to be productive or impressive.
You don’t need a “reason” to make something beautiful.
You can draw badly, cook messily, write love letters to no one, garden like a chaotic fairy queen, sing off-key, and still be divine.
I started coloring again. Not to post about it. Not to be good at it. Just because it calms me.
Your inner feminine doesn’t care if it’s “useful.” She just wants to play.
5. Let Yourself Receive
If you’re always the giver, this one might sting a little.
Feminine energy is receiving energy. It’s open. Soft. Willing to be held.
And if that makes you squirm, I get it. I used to deflect compliments. I refused help. I didn’t even know how to rest without apologizing for it.
But if you don’t let in love, support, pleasure—you’re living with a closed heart.
Try this:
- Accept a compliment without minimizing it.
- Let your partner make you dinner without guilt.
- Spend money on something that makes you feel good just because.
You’re allowed to be held. You’re allowed to receive without earning it.
6. Wear or Do Something That Makes You Feel Soft
Yes, this one is superficial—but only on the surface.
When I stopped dressing like I was always bracing for war (read: tight ponytail, stiff blazer, don’t talk to me), and started dressing in ways that made me feel held, comfortable, and expressive, I softened inside too.
Some days that’s flowy skirts. Some days it’s fuzzy socks. Some days it’s nothing but a robe and perfume.
It’s not about looking “feminine.” It’s about feeling like yourself again.
7. Trust Yourself Over the Internet
Every day, someone’s trying to sell you a step-by-step plan to glow up, level up, boss up, fix yourself.
Feminine energy doesn’t scream, though. She whispers.
Your intuition is the softest voice—but also the truest.
Start by tuning in:
- What do I actually want right now?
- What feels heavy?
- What feels like truth?
Let your body and your emotions have a seat at the table, not just your logic.
8. Romanticize the Ordinary
Feminine energy is magic-making energy. She finds the sacred in the simple.
Now I:
- Light candles before cooking dinner.
- Sit outside during golden hour just to feel it on my skin.
- Make my morning matcha like a sacred ceremony, not a caffeine transaction.
This is what helps me feel alive again—not just functional.
It’s not about pretending life is perfect. It’s about making moments matter.
Final Words (From Me to You)
If you feel disconnected from your feminine energy, I just want you to know:
You didn’t lose her. She’s still in there.
Under the hustle. Under the armor. Under the “I’m fine.”
She’s the part of you that still cries at sunsets. That loves softness. That wants to be held. That wants to feel free.
You don’t have to wait for a retreat, or a new moon, or a permission slip.
You can start right now.
Soften your jaw. Drop your shoulders. Close your eyes.
Ask yourself: What would feel really, really good right now?
And then… give that to yourself.
That’s where the feminine lives.
And she’s ready to come home.
With you, in softness,
Selene 🤍
