How to Silence Your Inner Critic

You know that voice in your head?

The one that whispers, “You’re not doing enough,” when you finally sit down to rest.
Or maybe it shouts, “Everyone’s ahead of you,” when you scroll social media.
Sometimes it disguises itself as motivation — but it always leaves you feeling like you’re not enough.

That voice? That’s your inner critic.

And if you’re anything like me — a recovering people-pleaser and lifelong overthinker — that voice can feel louder than your intuition, your creativity, or even your joy. But here’s the truth: Your inner critic isn’t the enemy. She’s just scared. She’s trying to protect you — but she’s using some outdated and very unhelpful methods.

So how do you quiet her without shutting yourself down completely? How do you silence that inner critic without losing your spark?

Let’s talk about it. Gently, honestly, and with a few tools you can actually use today — even if you’re still in your pajamas and already on your third cup of coffee.

First, Let’s Name What’s Actually Going On

Your inner critic usually shows up when you’re trying to grow. Start a new routine. Change your mindset. Launch that dream. Set a boundary. Date again. Speak up. Rest, even.

She panics.

And instead of encouraging you, she brings the full choir of shame:
“You’re not ready.”
“You always quit.”
“This is cringey.”
“You’re not good enough.”
“Who do you think you are?”

Sound familiar?

Your inner critic’s job is not to destroy you. She’s there to keep you safe. But she learned how to do that in weird, backwards ways — often rooted in old stories, past wounds, or childhood dynamics.

So instead of telling her to shut up (which never works), let’s learn how to understand, disarm, and retrain her.

Step 1: Notice the Voice — Without Letting It Run the Show

Start by tuning in.

Next time you feel that “not good enough” feeling bubble up, pause.
Ask:

What is this voice trying to protect me from?

Maybe she’s trying to protect you from embarrassment.
Maybe from judgment.
Maybe from repeating a mistake.

Once you see her intention, she loses some of her power.

It’s like realizing the monster under the bed is actually a nervous cat who just hisses when scared.

Write down what she says, word for word, and then ask yourself:

Would I say this to a friend?

If not — you don’t need to say it to yourself either.

Step 2: Find the Origin Story

A lot of our inner critic beliefs aren’t even ours. They came from:

• A teacher who told us we “weren’t creative”
• A parent who only gave praise for achievement
• A friend who made us feel small to feel big
• A society that taught us rest = laziness and self-worth = productivity

Take a moment to journal or reflect:

• Where did I first hear this voice?
• Whose language does it sound like?
• What was I taught about failure, worth, and being “too much”?

Once you realize you inherited the inner critic, you can start deciding what to keep — and what to lovingly throw out.

Step 3: Give Her a Name, a Face, or a Job Title

This part might feel silly — but it works.

Give your inner critic a name. A face. Even a little outfit if you want. (Mine wears a blazer and constantly reminds me about “metrics.”)

You can even say something like:

“Hey, thanks for your input, Brenda, but I’m trying something new.”

Creating separation lets you observe the voice without identifying with it.

It turns down the emotional charge. You start seeing her less like a cruel villain and more like an overworked assistant who needs a new assignment.

Step 4: Replace Criticism with Curiosity

Instead of “Why do I always mess things up?” try:

• “What was I needing when that happened?”
• “What am I learning about myself?”
• “How can I be kinder next time?”

Self-compassion isn’t weakness. It’s what helps you heal.

Curiosity allows space for growth. Criticism traps you in the past.

So next time you mess up (because spoiler alert: we all do), don’t punish yourself. Just pause and ask:

“What’s the most loving way I can support myself right now?”

Even if the answer is just drinking water and texting a friend.

Step 5: Write a New Internal Script

Your inner critic has been reading from the same tired script for years. It’s time for rewrites.

Here are a few affirmations and mindset swaps that have helped me and my readers:

Write your own comebacks. Speak them out loud. Say them in the mirror if you’re feeling brave (or just whisper them while doing dishes — also valid).

Step 6: Catch Her in the Act — and Re-Anchor Yourself

Your inner critic loves showing up when you’re already wobbly: tired, hungry, overstimulated, or doing something new.

So build a toolkit of “anchors” — things that help you reconnect to your truth, not your fear.

Some of mine:

• A playlist that makes me feel like the main character
• A folder of screenshots from kind messages readers have sent me
• A sticky note on my desk that says, “You’re allowed to take up space”
• A walk outside where I say “thank you” for everything I see

When you feel the critic creeping in, pause, choose an anchor, and remind yourself:

“I am not my thoughts. I am the one listening.”

Step 7: Normalize Being a Work-in-Progress

Look, I still have days where I spiral because I forgot to meditate and spilled coffee on my favorite dress and suddenly convinced myself I’m a fraud.

But I come back.

I breathe. I journal. I text my best friend. I re-read old writing to remember who I am.

Silencing your inner critic isn’t about never hearing her again. It’s about not giving her the mic every time she grabs it.

You’re not broken if she still shows up. You’re human.

And every time you choose self-compassion over self-shaming, you’re building a new neural pathway. A softer, braver, wiser one.

Let’s Wrap This With a Reminder (Or 3)

• You are not lazy or broken just because you need rest or reassurance.
• Your inner critic is loud, but she’s not right.
• You can be kind to yourself and still get things done.

So the next time your inner critic pipes up, try this:

Smile.
Say, “Thanks for your concern.”
And then go live your life like it’s already unfolding exactly as it’s meant to — because it is.

You’re doing better than you think.
You’re growing, even when it’s messy.
And you’re allowed to love yourself loudly, even with a voice in your head that still doubts.

Let that voice exist. Just don’t let it lead.

You’ve got this. And if not today, there’s always tomorrow.

Warmly,
Selene 🖤